2nd annual baes @ Nat's

i really do love these girls
so much
between getting super drunk
and super happy
i'm the best version of myself with these guys <3

why teen wolf is the best

"Sweetheart, let me tell you something no teenager ever believes, but I guarantee you is the absolute truth. You fall in love more than once. It will happen again. It will be just as amazing and extraordinary as the first time and maybe just as painful. But it'll happen again. I promise. But until then, be your own anchor. " 

1.1.14

maybe this year i'll be good enough for someone
maybe he'll help me be good enough for myself
or maybe he'll take whatever i left

maybe I should just be with myself this year

fuck

i'm so fucking pathetic
so so fucking sad
and angry
and i tried. I really tried
but crying for two hours on the first day of 2014
it can't be that bad can it
i can't help myself
and i can't ask anyone either
I haven't cried in months
so why today
why now
why me

New Years Resolutions

• blog more, or at all really
• take more polaroids
• buy a film camera to take photos for future dorm room
• be less jaded 
• be nicer to my parents
• be nicer to everyone
• more sociable
• appreciate my friends more
• get fit
• get a job 
• maybegetaboyfriendidk
• to write something, everyday. 
• not be so hard on myself
• not cry when getting A level results
• be as loud with strangers as I am around my best friends 
• not as obnoxious though, don't scare them away
• send snail mail to friends living overseas
• read more
• go to lush and buy a billion bath bombs 
• take more bubble baths to use said bath bombs while listening to the 1975
• instagram more
• start using facebook again
• be less self conscious
• take better care of my skin
• be less jealous
• just text the people whom i miss but haven't spoken to in a long while
• do less online shopping
• not beat myself up for online shopping anyway
• take jojo for more walks/ to the dog park

• try
• everything

((((((((( panic ))))))))))

This close to having a panic attack in class today. I couldn't breathe for a good few seconds and the only thing keeping me from going into full panic mode was not wanting my classmates to see me like that.

 I can’t take this stress anymore I just want everything to be over

• prelim grades suck
• mye grades suck
• 96% sure predicted grades will suck
• i will not get into a good US university
• there's no point paying $400,000 in tuition to study in a sucky US university
• I will get stuck in FASS, etc
• I will never get out of singapore  

• i'm this close to just quitting everything
• can i just take a gap year
• go to india and build some orphanages
• then figure out life from there

ummmmmm

"for fucks sake just tell him i'm a lesbian"

"ok hold up"

.......

"he said 'challenge accepted'"